Sqwalp alpha

The threesome love child of Twitter, geocaching and 16th century technology.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is Sqwalp?

Sqwalp can be described as a free service for sending a virtual message in a bottle on the internet, since that's exactly what it is.

How do I read a message?

You can only read a message once you are close enough to it, geographically. Messages close enough to read will show up in the waves at the bottom of the screen on Sqwalp.com. The bottle tracking page only shows you where the message currently is - you need to actually get within its radius to read it. It's similar to geocaching, and the iPad is an excellent Sqwalp companion.

What? That's impossible!

Not at all, but finding a bottle does require some luck and/or some work. Messages move faster and get a larger radius the longer they drift, so bottles that have been drifting for a long time can be read from very far away. Also, once a bottle has appeared in the waves it will not disappear (unless you reload the page). That way, you don't have to constantly monitor Sqwalp. As long as you keep Sqwalp.com open in your browser, any messages that pass close enough to you will stay visible until you open them.

I don't see any bottles!

Be patient! Have you ever been to the ocean? Are there bottles floating around everywhere? Of course not! Good things come to those who wait... for a really, really long time.

Who will recieve my messages?

Who cares? They will drift around aimlessly until they are found by other Sqwalp users.

Will my message ever be read by anyone?

Hopefully not, but there is no way to guarantee it. Messages unfortunately become more and more likely to be found the longer they drift around on the big, beautiful ocean known as the world wide web. However, if you're lucky your message will drift around in virtual Antarctica for decades and in that case it is unlikely that anyone will ever read it.

How long can I be sure my message isn't found and read?

As soon as you toss your message into the big, beautiful ocean known as the world wide web, it will drift around until someone finds it. It could take minutes, it could take years.

How will I know if someone has found my message?

You won't, unless your message includes some way of contacting you (for example an old school Twitter account or prehistoric e-mail address) and the receiver decides to do so.

How can I find out who sent a message that I have found?

Sqwalp is an anonymous service, and only registers when and where each message was sent. That means you can't find out who sent the message, unless the sender has left some sort of contact information in the message.

How many people will read my message?

When a message is found, the receiver can decide wether to throw it back or to destroy it. Your message will drift around, be found, read, and thrown back again until someone destroys it.

How many messages can i send?

There is no limit. However, note that each message will drift around randomly and probably won't be found by one and the same person or even in the order you sent them.

Do I risk finding naughty/inappropriate/vulgar content in the messages?

Oh, you bet! All content is submitted by anonymous sqwalpers, so there's probably some nasty stuff floating around out there. Feel free to destroy any inappropriate messages that you may find, or just throw them back into the big, beautiful ocean known as the world wide web.

Does this service really work or is it just a joke?

It works as advertised, no joke. Using a geolocation-aware browser (Firefox, Safari, Google Chrome, or any browser with Google Toolbar installed) is recommended, though. Sqwalp needs to know your approximate location in order to know if any messages are drifting around nearby, and all messages need somewhere to start drifting from. If Sqwalp can't get this information from your browser, it will take a wild guess based on your current IP number.

Why Sqwalp?

In the beginning, there were only e-mail, IRC, newsgroups, forums and instant messaging. Times were rough. People didn't communicate, only geeks did.

Then Twitter brought the unrivalled excellence of SMS Text Messaging to the interwebs, giving complication-free birth to social media, revolutionizing intraplanetary communication, and pushing the laws of nature to their boundaries by making geekiness fashionable.

For the first time in the history of the entire known universe, everyone could share their ill-thought-through ideas and random quotes with humanity using a computer terminal, without technical annoyances such as message threading, searchable history, or room for textual nuances. Also, much like masturbation, tweeting proved to be one of those things in life one could master simply by doing it furiously (see also social media experts).

Now it's time to go back to the future again! This time, even fewer experienced internet users will get the point, which only proves that experience and knowledge makes people old and boring. Ignore the naysayers and their long-winded rants - join the asocial media revolution and make a splash!

This is stupid.

That is not a question.

Isn't this stupid?

It is.

I have some feedback/ideas/constructive criticism! Where do I send it?

Sqwalp it, of course! For boring, deterministic delivery, e-mail theodor@tstorm.se.

Frequently Asked Questions